3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than all his children, because he was the son of his old age: and he made him a coat of many colors.
4 And when his brothers saw that their father loved him more than all his brothers, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.
There are some problem human being create for themselves due to lack of self-control.
It should not be a crime to love someone better than others but it is dangerous for parent to show their preference for a child over another. We would want to think that the child should try to be a better child so that the parental love will naturally increase. This cannot make a bad child better but can only make a bad child worse. To be considerate enough, if parent put themselves in the shoes of their less loved child, a better understanding would be gained.
This uncontrolled trait in Jacob (Israel) created a tragedy for him which sored his old age. Was he the only one at fault? No, his parent Isaac and Rebecca caused same ripple in there peaceful home due to this. Showing preference for one child over another. It is a tragedy prone trait.
Children naturally have their unreserved love and trust in their parent. Children will naturally love their parent before maturing into loving others . This natural affection changes to same level of hatred if realised unreciprocated.
Just as his parents, Jacob showed he loved Joseph more. And Joseph’s brother hated him because of that. This singular act might be part of the reason Jacob children did not have any reservation for his love in them when they sold Joseph. Child-to-parent’s love should still stop children from causing there parent agony. In case of Esau and Isaac, because of the father-to-son love between Esau and Isaac he determined not to kill Jacob in Isaac’s lifetime. To prevent Isaac’s tragedy he was waiting till Isaac death. In all this no regard or consideration for the existence of possible tragedy for their mother Rebecca, if she would still be alive then or not. All because of preferential love exhibited in their family. Isaac for Esau and Rebecca for Jacob!
So Jacob’s children cared less about his tragedy of loosing Joseph, whose mother was late. No more father-to-children sympathy left because of the exhibition of preferential love.
26 And Judah said unto his brothers, What profit is it if we slay our brother, and conceal his blood?
27 Come, and let us sell him to the Ishmaelites, and let not our hand be upon him; for he is our brother and our flesh. And his brothers were content
This passage still shows their consideration for some brotherly love but no care for their father’s tragedy and agony.
This is what parents’ preferential love to their children can cause.
Please let us bear this in mind that this trait was not seen in Abraham.
So, parent beware of exhibition of preferential love in your family. It is a grave mistake. If made, it spells doom. However simple and easy, please do not fall for into it. If you are guilty of this already, please stop, not at later date but now. Pray to God for forgiveness and repent because it is a variant of the sins of lack of self-control and selfishness. Begin to exhibit that impartial love to all your children. Let them know, if need be, that you are to love them equally and you shall stand by that. Only your exhibition of impartial love can change and make your children better, your exhibition of preference will not.This is the healthy and Godly way to raise your family.
I pray the love of Christ Jesus takes control of our homes.